Kiss and Tell: What He Says

We’ve all heard the saying, “A real lady doesn’t kiss and tell.” But let’s face it: when it comes to relationships or sensual encounters, women usually possess that one friend or a circle of ‘sisters’ that they let in on their sultry secrets. For some men, it is no different. In fact, they have this uncanny way of twisting the storyline in their favour just for the sake of bragging rights among the fellas.

Well, since they’re out there kissing and telling, Flair is here to shed some light on the good, the bad and the downright ugly ways these male counterparts put their private life on public display.

Good times

There is actually a good way to spin this. He meets a new girl, goes out on a date with her. He has the time of his life and he shares the good news with his boys. Time progresses and he makes it all the way to home run. Floored by his expertise, stamina and attention to details, amazed by her flexibility, animation and prowess, they create a memorable experience, exploding to the euphoria of fireworks. By the next link-up, he’s giving them a play by play of the game. As she edges closer and closer to the throne as his queen, they’re kept in the know by their friend who vouches for the fact that she is the one.

Now, there’s some merit to it. By engaging in this honest act of ‘kiss and tell’, his friends are made aware that there’s a new woman in town and he might be ready for the big leagues. Pretty soon, they’ll be seeing less of him while he spends more time getting to know her. By spilling the beans, he’s bringing them into his world, taking them on the journey with him as he prepares for the next stage of his life.

Bad Intentions

So here is the flip side. On a chance encounter, a guy exchanged words with one fair lady, and she is impressed by his charm. Smitten, she goes on a date with him. One drink leads to another and she ends up taking the walk of shame that same night or the next morning. If she is dealt this great hand from the deck and decides to play her cards right until she can cash in, no one should be judging that. Except, the ‘dealer’ who handed her those very cards is parading out and about with his ‘bookies’, bragging about how it took him no time to lure her to his table and how he won the jackpot in the end because she went home pantiless – sorry, penniless.

This could, in hindsight, ruin a woman’s reputation with the opposite sex, because as the adage says it only takes one bad apple to spoil the entire bunch. And the world has this weird way of being really small – you never know who are friends. To make matters worse, the bravado might be laced with vulnerability on the part of the female, and some predators will then view a woman as an easy prey. The sad reality – these men living as immature boys might take this as an opportunity to spread propaganda, recommending that you be passed around to the next ‘bidder’. Or one friend may take it upon himself to do such dirty bidding on his own.

Coyote Ugly

Coyote ugly, colloquially defined as an extremely ugly sexual partner, is the most fitting third-level of kiss and tell. This speaks to the man who chooses to gloat about his deficient involvement with a woman, as an upstanding one. A man who has the nerve to tell just about everybody about it, not just his friends. He exaggerates the truth, painting himself as the hero of his fairy tale and draws her through the mud as the villain.

It’s usually the classic case of, ‘If I can’t have her, no one else will’, with his story barely bordering the line of truth. But who will believe her, when he’s out there spreading rumours of indiscretion, clutching to her name like a tote? He throws the first punch, then multiple blows soon after, in a boxing match she didn’t sign up for. Baffled by his actions, she is left defenceless – it’s his word against hers.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com