Letter of the Day | Real men don't abuse women

THE EDITOR, Sir:

The recent murder of a mother and her daughter and the subsequent suicide of the woman's spouse have reignited the conversation about violence against women.

I wept openly while watching the news with my family on Sunday, September 23. I don't have all the facts on this particular case, but I know that only a coward and a weak person behaves the way the perpetrator did.

I have heard it many times before, and I suppose that I will hear it again: The majority of our men don't know how to hold a relationship together, and when the woman is ready to move on and move out or ship him out a lot of us resort to violence.

Men are the main perpetrators of violence against women and violence in general. As a man and father of two children, the issue of violence against women is dear to me. I watched my close friend having to run for her life from an abusive and violent husband. Simple things as talking to a friend of many years would result in the unleashing of all the punches in a boxing match: left hooks, right hooks, upper cuts and jabs. Thanks to the help of the police, the court and a few men of honour, she is alive today.

As a society, we need to get serious about ending all violence against women, not just murder, rape, assault, sexual harassment but all forms of violence. We need to move from being part of the conversation and become part of the solution.

CULTURAL SHIFT NEEDED

We need a cultural shift in the macho mentality among men. Men must come to realise that it is okay to seek professional help in a relationship and stop 'holding order' at the rum bar, domino table or football match. A drink of rum can't stop a round of bun.

We need to encourage and involve more men and boys in the advocacy effort. We need to go beyond the activities of International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. We must strengthen the law to make it more punitive regarding violence against women and improve the training of the police on domestic violence. We will make huge inroads if men get the message of being non-violent. Real men don't abuse women.

ANDRE WELLINGTON

andrewellington344@yahoo.com