Key to successful marriage

THE EDITOR, Madam:

It’s been quite some time since I looked at the available data, the statistics showing how many marriages fail within a given period of time, and so on, but I suspect it hasn’t changed much in many years. That half of all marriages here in the United States fail is likely either true or likely understatement.

What amazes me is that there is so little public attention to such an incredible, measurable result. Why hasn’t there been more of a serious effort to determine root causes, analyse internal trends, develop plausible assessments and establish remediation strategies? In other words, why doesn’t anyone seem all that worried about Jimmy and Blossom Sue not being able to figure out how to make a marriage work?

Personally, like every member of the losing half of this proposition, I have never succeeded at a marriage; but knowing how I lost gives me the chance to offer you three simple steps that would-be marriage participants might consider, and if these are worked at successfully, say for a generation or two, I see great improvements coming:

1) Be attracted to your potential partner. Marriage is primarily for raising children, which requires determined sexual activity; no explanation is necessary.

2) Become friends with your potential mate. Today, all too few of us take the time to explore and understand just how much simple friendship plays in establishing a lasting marital relationship, let alone relationships in general.

3) Attempt to establish compatible long-range goals. Remember, raising children to become successful adults takes a long-term commitment to provide them with nurturing, advice, education and skills training, in addition to giving them access to viable spiritual connections, a church, a workable belief system, and so on. Partners won’t easily make that commitment without shared goals.

You might share this simple three-step plan with your younger readers, Madam Editor. Thank you for the opportunity to contribute: Remember, young people: marriages are not easily made good ones, even survivable ones, but it is possible and we know it because it is done every day by those we often call “lucky”. I call them “blessed”.

ED MCCOY

Bokeelia, Florida