Christmas carols ... with a political twist

THE EDITOR, Madam:

Maybe it was the eggnog consumed before going to bed that precipitated a strange dream about a Christmas carol concert put on by political leaders from around the world.

It began with O Come, O Come Emmanuel performed by French President Emmanuel Macron; which seemed quite logical, given his name, and all.

Next came German Chancellor Olaf Scholz with his rendition of O Tannenbaum; again quite logical, as the first decorated tree dates to the Cathedral Of Strasbourg at Christmas 1539, believe it or not!

Things became a tad more complicated when Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy sang The Little Drummer Boy. Remembering the time he spends flying between world capitals with cap in hand, drumming up money and armaments to prolong war against his Russian invaders, things fell into place.

No surprise that the Kremlin’s protagonist would also be occupying centre stage, and Vladimir Putin chose the popular Mariah Carey song All I Want For Christmas Is You. However, Mad Vlad had to change the lyrics just a little to: “All I want for Christmas is You-Kraine”.

Another slight change for Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, who was born on December 25 to his mother, Maggie. He chose the calypso-styled Mary’s Boy Child, with lyrics revised to “Maggie’s man-child, juvenescent Justin, was born on Christmas Day”.

Next was O Little Town Of Bethlehem, performed by Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. His iron fist grips today’s inhabitants of that fabled town in the occupied West Bank, with thousands of Palestinian men, women and children held in jails under administrative detention without charges ever being laid.

When US President Joe Biden slowly made his way on stage, there were expectations he may sing Old Man Winter, or some age-related carol. His poll numbers are falling rapidly, so he chose to address the Blue States controlled by his Democratic Party, singing Elvis Presley’s favourite Blue Christmas.

Last up was the entertainer-in-chief Donald Trump, and I wondered how he would close out my dreamland concert. His song-and-dance rendition of Deck The Halls seemed a little out of place in his red MAGA hat; but the meaningless chorus made perfect sense coming from him : “Fa-La-La-La-La … La-La-La-La !”

At that point, I awoke, just in time to wish all in the newsroom, and all your readers, a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

BERNIE SMITH

Parksville, BC

Canada