My best friend cheated with my fiancé

Dear Joan,

I am so disillusioned. The way I feel right now, I don't think I could ever put my trust in another man or have another close friend.

My best friend, who I grew up with, cheated with my fiancÈ. This friend and I went to the same college and we now attend the same church. We went to a youth camp and I met this wonderful man. He was on fire for the Lord, and I was just impressed with how he was enthusiastic about God. My friend liked him also. she actually introduced herself to him as I was too shy to do that. He came over with her to hang with us. We starting hanging out together after that and he told me that he really liked me. I asked him about my friend as I thought they had 'a thing'. He said no and that he only liked her as a friend.

Anyway, although I liked him a lot, I was not going to do anything to hurt her.

I asked her what was the deal between them and she said he told her that he really liked me, but he wasn't getting the same vibes from me. She said she liked him, but even when I wasn't there, he was asking about me.

I confessed to her that I liked him, but I thought she was interested in him. She gave me her blessings, saying she had to focus on someone who returned her feelings.

With the coast clear, I responded to his advances. It reached the stage where he asked me to marry him and I said yes. We crossed the line once when we gave in to our passion, and we both asked forgiveness and pledged we would never let it happen again.

Everything was going great until my workplace gave me the opportunity to take up a fellowship in the States. It lasted for six months.

I was so excited and my fiancÈ said we would just have to talk on Skype a lot.

For the first two months, we kept in touch and everything was great. I checked in with my friend every once in a while because I was busy.

By the third month, I sensed a difference in my fiancÈ. He was too busy for me.

When I returned home, I was in for a shock.

With tears in his eyes, he told me that my best friend was at his house one night and he was feeling low and missing me. She started comforting him, and before he knew it, they made love. He said it was the guilt of it, why he couldn't talk to me. I don't believe him. He also said it has not happened again and he discouraged her from coming to his place. He is making it seem as though she came on to him.

I went to church and she tried to talk to me, but I told her I didn't want to hear anything from her.

I feel so hurt and betrayed. I am even thinking of going to another church. My ex-fiancÈ (I gave him back his ring) wants me to forgive him and continue the relationship, but I can't. Do you think I should?

- H.T.

Dear H.T.,

I am sorry that you had to go through that. My dear, you are the only one who can make that decision. In your heart of hearts, do you think you can ever trust him to be true to you from here on? I don't think you should change churches. Have a talk with your friend and hear what she has to say. It is then up to you what you do with the information. Maybe you decide you can't be friendly with her anymore, or it could be that you will feel differently.

Whatever the cause, you can't run from a place of worship every time someone there hurts you or offends you because you won't have a stable place to worship. Humans err. Pray about the situation and seek God's guidance.

Blessings