Be a friend to your children - Single dad gives words of wisdom to fathers

Today, Father’s Day, Basil Rowe can look back and thank God for all the sacrifices he made in single-handedly caring for his daughter, Abigail.

With Abigail completing her university education and working with the Government, Rowe took the time to reminisce with The Sunday Gleaner on the journey he embarked on since his daughter was only nine years old.

After his marriage fell apart, Rowe was left to be the primary caregiver for Abigail when her mother moved away to live on the other side of the country.

Although she contributed financially, Rowe had to deal with Abigail’s day-to-day care, something, he said, taking care of his nephews and nieces had prepared him for.

“I rose to the occasion with all that practice I got from helping out with my nephews and nieces,” he said with a laugh.

However, Rowe soon realised that being an uncle was a far cry from being a single father, and he admitted that there were times when he felt overwhelmed and out of his depth, which would see him turning to the Lord in prayer for guidance and assistance.

Help came in the form of his neighbour – Marvernia Miller - who stepped up for hair-combing duties.

Rowe said that during Abigail’s primary-school days, his car was defective and would shut off in traffic. He, therefore, had to leave his house at 4:30 a.m. to avoid peak-hour traffic, getting home late as he waited for traffic to ease off.

“No matter how late I reached home, I had to cook dinner for us and get us ready for the next day,” he shared.

The proud dad said that when it came to washing Abigail’s white clothes, he used his blue soap and then put the clothes in the sun, feeling proud of his effort when the sparling white garments greeted him.

“The one thing I never did was allow my daughter to hear me having any arguments with her mother. Whatever differences we had, we kept it cordial as I never wanted her to see us at each other’s throats,” he shared.

Rowe said that being a single father with a daughter saw him making a lot of sacrifices as he was careful about the type of friends he entertained.

“I had to be selective of the friends I kept as I didn’t want any unsavoury persons around her. In fact, I hardly went out much during those days,” he shared, adding that when it came to having an intimate relationship, he shied away from that, too.

With his daughter in university and well on her way, he afforded himself the luxury of giving love a second chance in his life and Abigail was more than happy to give her father her blessing with his new wife, Bernetta.

Rowe is thankful for his church family at the Free Town Seventh-day Adventist church who were there for him when he was on his journey as a single father. His words of wisdom for fathers are: “Be a friend to your children. Let them have your confidence as they need to feel secure. Never quarrel in the presence of your children with their mother. Always be respectful to their mother no matter how painful it might be.”