What is godly discipline?

The Bible tells us to “Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise, you will ruin their lives” Proverbs 19:18 (NLT). A child guilty of wrongdoings or rebellious attitudes should be corrected in the early years of life “… while there is hope…” of leading him to the right way. To neglect such needed training contributes to the child’s foolishness and rebellion.

We need to deal with wrongs adequately and as soon as they occur, until the child learns that wrong won’t be permitted. Our children must learn to respect and obey authority. We can’t shrug it off or get weary, but must stick with it until they get the message. If professional help is needed, pursue it. We must shape their stubborn will with wisdom.

Our children are our greatest earthly treasures and blessings that God has placed in our hands, so we must work with God in this great enterprise of disciplining. In this way, they might also become heavenly blessings and rewards. Proverbs 22:15 (NCV) teaches us that we need to discipline our children because “Every child is full of foolishness, but punishment can get rid of it.”

Punishment or discipline is moral correction and uses the idea of inflicting pain to associate it with wrongdoing. The child learns essential facts: that wrong brings pain, and right brings affirmation. Don’t threaten and not follow through. The child will eventually learn that they can do whatever they want without consequence. In this environment, a child grows worse. By escaping the due punishment, a child’s corrupt nature moves them into unacceptable behaviour and then moulds and establishes evil behaviour.

The Bible teaches, “If you do not punish your children, you don’t love them, but if you love your children, you will correct them” Proverbs 13:24 (NCV). When a parent gives the child their own way and yields more as the child demands it, the child begins to think he can get anything by demanding it. In reality, the parent isn’t demonstrating love for their child, but ease for themself. Diligent discipline demands time and sacrifice.

Proverbs 29:15 (NLT) teaches us, “To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.” God’s order is the way of discipline, and parents are to be God’s dispensers of it to their children. As we punish, we need to let them know why. Children need to understand why they got in trouble. This combination of punishment and teaching produces wisdom. Punishment alone may make them obey, but children become wiser when we show them their folly. The pain of punishment heightens their interest in listening and correcting their behaviour.

A child that’s not restrained but allowed to do as he pleases and have what he wants becomes an unruly person. We may think they will grow out of it, or it will pass, but this is not the case. When a child is not reined in, but runs free and wild, he “brings shame”. He feeds the impulses of his fallen nature if his will is not broken and shaped to God-given instruction.

Proverbs 29:17 teaches, “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.” The repeated exhortations to discipline our children shows its importance. The measure and mode of correction must depend upon the age, sex, temperament and character of the child, as well as the aggravating or mitigating circumstances of the fault. Discipline must be done with the love of God – never more than they can bear – and make sure to give allowances for any signs of repentance and confession.