Hello, mi neighbour! | Is backbiting different from backstabbing?

If you had a choice, which would you choose? To be ‘backbitten’ or to be backstabbed? Oh, you have no say in the matter. Everyday people are backstabbed and ‘backbitten’ without their permission, knowledge or acknowledgement. Usually, these atrocious acts are performed randomly by relatives and so-called friends. And, how does one tell the difference between backbiters and backstabbers? How do we identify them? Remember, they are usually close to us. Don’t go suspecting everybody now. Do your due diligence!

In many cultures and religions, backbiting is considered an abominable thing, and rightly so. Backbiting is often associated with gossip, slander, and malice. This abomination can lead to conflict, mistrust, and damaged relationships. If a relative or a close friend stops talking with you for unknown reasons, you could be a victim of backbiting. Protect your back. Choose your friends wisely, not everyone who pretends to be good is good for you. Playing nice until time tells may not end well!

Backbiting can cause emotional pain and distress to the person being negatively talked about, damaging their self-esteem etc. What a feeling of betrayal when trusting friends discover that they are being mercilessly crucified behind their backs! Wanna guess another thing that backbiting does? It creates a toxic environment. Do you know of anything or anyone that thrives in a toxic environment other than the negative?

When someone engages in backbiting, it says more about their character than the person they’re backbiting. Doesn’t matter how justifiable the act may seem: fear of approaching the person, the need to vent, putting people on their Ps and Qs etc. Yes, you may need to caution people against exposure to danger but please ensure that the intent is pure. Need I say more? Talking about people behind their backs wastes time, energy and money. How? Check it.

Now, backstabbing typically refers to the act of betraying someone’s trust or loyalty, often in a sneaky or secretive manner. It involves intentional harm or damage to someone, usually by doing something that undermines their interests or well-being. If someone, for example, secretly sabotages a colleague’s project or reveals confidential information about a colleague, that is considered backstabbing.

Backbiting usually refers to the act of speaking negatively or critically about someone behind their back. It involves spreading rumours, often with the intention of harming their reputation or relationships. It doesn’t necessarily involve direct action against the person, but rather an attempt to damage their character or social standing.

So how is backbiting different from backstabbing? If someone is talking negatively about a friend to others when the friend is not present, that’s backbiting. But if someone is secretly working against the friend’s interests or sabotaging their efforts, that’s back-stabbing. In our culture, backstabbing and backbiting are result of bad mindedness.

If someone is unusually nice to you, before embracing this niceness as a blessing, do some fact-checking! You could be in for a rude awakening. When Mr B’s neighbour became unusually nice to him, little did he know that it was because he “saw what he wanted”. Happily for Mr B and his family, his beautiful wife spurned this neighbour’s disgusting advances. Backstabbers are nice to your face but secretly undermine you. A backstabber may say one thing to you, like feigning concern for you, but then tells the neighbours something entirely different. In other cases, a backstabber might spread rumours and lies about you to make you look bad, even as you think of this person as a friend or confidant. Huh!

Backstabbers and backbiters are often insecure or just jealous of you. It’s a kind of covetousness which can lead to their demise. It is our hope (therefore) that, as they try to drag us down so that they can feel better, they will come to their senses, as their end could be bitter.

Going forward, before stretching your hand to receive something that appeals to you, from someone who appeals to you, try to see what’s ‘up their sleeve’. Backbiters and backstabbers are cunning. Are you one?

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2. Refrigerator

3. Bed

4. Food

5. Medication

6. Financial assistance to start a little business

To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 876 649-9636 or 876 884-3866 Contact email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com