The political hit parade

Lance Neita, Contributor

So the trumpet has sounded and the bells are being polished, and it seems as if we are off on the political hustings again.

The old hymns are being trotted out and the pontificating, or the 'demonisation' - depending on how you look at it - of party leaders is about to start up in earnest.

The People's National Party (PNP) has already drawn the ire of the Jamaica Labour Party (JLP) when the prime minister was nicknamed 'Eli' at the party meeting on Sunday.

But comfort ye, JLP, political leaders have been called worst names than that, and old Eli has a good reputation in the Bible.

Michael Manley himself used the famous name 'Joshua', a title earned during his trade union days.

We know for a fact that there was some fair comparison to the biblical leader as Michael is said to have commanded the sun and the moon to stand still when he introduced that short and misguided period of daylight saving time to Jamaica on January 6, 1974.

'Rod of correction'

The title Joshua came with a rod which he carried to meetings. When he paused during a speech and lifted the 'rod of correction' to the crowd, there would be a mighty roar.

So threatening was this act that Edward Seaga, in one of those great and extremely amusing moments in our political history, managed to hide Manley's rod and come up with one of his own which he claimed to be the right one, producing it at Half-Way Tree Square one night.

That did not swing, as a few days later Joshua's cohorts made a successful raid on the JLP camp, recaptured the rod and reclaimed victory.

But back to name calling. The PNP was at the wrong end when journalist Morris Cargill called the then prime minister a 'windbag' in the 1970s. That produced 'autoclaps' as for days the talk shows were inundated with calls expressing anger at the temerity of the journalist. This, of course, only added fuel to fire as Cargill insisted, "I call him so because he is a windbag." Argument done. That one didn't go down well with the comrades, but the JLP was elated.

Sankey or hymn

Back to the hymn sing. Every good political meeting comes with a sankey or hymn considered to be appropriate to describing the party or the candidate's character. The MC takes his duties seriously and must know when to introduce a particular song or verse.

For example, it is a set that you introduce a candidate with "I must have the Saviour with me", as that is the clearest indication of the candidate's intent, virtue, and Christian principles. It is also a clear message that the opponent has no such moral standing. But the next night the opponent hits back as the strains of "I am thine Oh Lord" can be heard coming from his or her platform.

In the 1980s the JLP whipped up nostalgia for their earlier days in power when they chorused: "It soon be done, all the troubles and trials, when I get home, on the other side (of Gordon House). Ah going to sit down beside Seaga, shake hands with Mr Shearer ..." Oh well.

In 1972 when the PNP recaptured power the crowds waited in vain for the JLP MPs to make their traditional march from the Bustamante Industrial Trade Union headquarters for the Parliament opening. The party boycotted the event, leaving the largely PNP crowd chanting happily. "Shearer in the garden hiding, hiding from Joshua."

We can also look forward to the gyrations on stage when Peter and Portia start dancing, Omar does his wining, Bruce calypsos with Babsy, and in earlier days Seaga doing a dignified fox trot to a heavy west Kingston beat.

Jokes abound around the political theatre. One of my favourites is that of the elderly lady who held up the voters' line for almost half an hour while behind the curtain.

When she finally emerged the enraged crowd attacked her, "Lawd, Miss Hazel, a wha you a do in deh so long?"

Miss Hazel, pleased with herself, snaps back. "Oonu think say dat dey head easy fe draw, noh?" She was called 'Artist' for life. Hush, JLP. Nicknames are coming back.

Comments may be sent to columns@gleanerjm.com or lanceneita@hotline.com