Let's talk life - 'I want to be a good dad'

•  'I want to be a good dad'

Dear Counsellor:

My wife is pregnant and I am looking forward to being a good father. My father was a poor role model and I want to be a good example for my children.

- Ronald

Dear Ronald:

It is good that you want to be an involved dad. Attend the visits with your wife. Read up about pregnancy and baby care. Help out more at home. Cook some of your wife's favourite dishes and give her back massages. Wash her back and legs when she is bathing.

Speak to your baby every day and sing to her. Touch your wife's belly and feel your baby move. With these activities, you will have to form a connection from early. View the pregnancy as a joint effort between you and your wife.

Attend Lamaze classes with mom-to-be and learn how to care for wife and baby.

When your baby is born, you will have to feed, change diapers, bathe and soothe her. Get a pair of slippers because you will have to walk miles to soothe your baby. Plan to read to your baby from early days and throughout childhood.

You will need to assist by taking the baby for her immunisations. Taking her to school, birthday parties, and play dates will be on your agenda. Start talking to your child from early so that as she grows older, she will feel comfortable talking to you.

Be prepared to meet the expenses and to participate in the shopping. You will need to be a good provider, guide and role model. You will need to be the spiritual leader for your children.

• Forgetful father

Dear Counsellor:

I have noticed that my 70-year-old father is getting forgetful. He is always searching for personal belongings and loves to sleep in the days. He will leave the stove and pipe on at times. What can I do?

- Jackie

Dear Jackie:

Some elderly persons develop memory problems and behavioural problems, and so need treatment. Your father seems to have symptoms of dementia. Dementia is common in individuals over 70 years old. There are treatable causes of dementia.

Take your father to the doctor for a thorough check-up. He will need to do certain investigations. Discuss with your family the care of your father.

He needs 24-hour supervision so he will need a caregiver. He can be placed in a nursing home or a helper may be employed to look after him. Family members can take turns looking after him. Many senior citizens like to stay in their own house.

There are medications that are helpful in reducing the deterioration in cognitive functions. Your doctor will prescribe these for him.

Email questions and comments for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call her at 978-8602.