DOCTOR'S ADVICE: Husband is addicted to porn

Q Doctor, I am having a little trouble with my husband. We used to be very happy, but in the last couple of years, he has become addicted to Internet porn.

At first I did not mind too much as it seemed to have made him more interested in the 'physical' side of our marriage. So these days, he likes to have sex quite often and I'm happy about that.

So far so good! But the problem is that in recent months, he keeps saying to me, 'Why don't you act more like the women in the blue movies?'

He even wants me to look like them! At one stage, he demanded that I trim my pubic hair, but I refused to do so because I did not think it would suit me.

Things have become quite difficult lately because he will watch a movie, and then want me to act it out with him. He claims that these days, 'All wives do that'.

Is this true, Doctor?

A No, it certainly isn't! What your husband has been telling you is ridiculous.

Unfortunately, in the last few years, the explosion of porn that has struck the world have given men completely crazy ideas about what is normal, and what is not.

They get the notion that what they see on screen is what most people do in bed, but in fact it isn't.

An Irish doctor has recently made a study of the plot lines of pornographic movies. He found that the stories were usually made up of various 'mythical features'. Some of them are:

At the start of the film, the heroine appears and is immediately desperate to have sex without any preliminaries at all - even if she has only just met the man. In real life, almost all women like to be wooed gradually and romantically without rushing straight into intercourse.

The heroine wants to be penetrated deeply and roughly. While some women do like deep penetration, in fact most women prefer gentle lovemaking most of the time.

The heroine keeps changing into all sorts of exotic poses during sex. Although women general do like to try out various positions from time to time, they do not generally want to start swinging from chandeliers or climbing trees during sexual intercourse.

After a few minutes of 'straight' intercourse, the woman suddenly wants to switch to anal sex, which she engages in with ease. In the real world, few women like anal sex and tend to find it very painful.

Quite often, the hero's friends arrive and the woman is delighted when they join in, and penetrate her various orifices. Most women would be horrified at the idea of other men turning up in the bedroom wanting to have sex with her all at once.

At the end of the story, the hero insists on ejaculating in her mouth or on her face. Apparently, the idea of this is to ensure that the viewer can see that the actor really does ejaculate. That is referred to in the porn business as 'the money shot'. While most women have no objection to a little oral sex, they do not generally want to interrupt intercourse so that the man can ejaculate somewhere on her body other than the vagina.

There are many other features of pornographic movies which bear no relationship whatsoever to what women enjoy in real life. That is one of the reasons why so few women watch them!

So I think you should tell your husband to wise up and to get back in touch with the real world. If he persists in trying to get you to act as if you are a porn star, you should try to get him to accompany you to a marriage counsellor.

Q I am a male in my late 50s, and recently I have been getting up five or six times every night to urinate.

Could this be prostate cancer?

A Well, it's almost certain that you have some trouble with your prostate. But the odds are its not cancer but you should see a doctor to have your prostate examined and some blood tests done.

Q I am a 39-year-old woman and my monthly cycle is pretty regular. I just got married and I would like to have a baby, but I am wondering if this is still possible.

A It certainly is. The fact that you still have a regular cycle is a good sign.

Please get a doctor to help you work out when your ovulation day is. Then you should try and make love on that day, every month.

Q My wife has a bad cold, would it be OK if we had oral sex?

A No it is not a good idea to engage in oral sex while either party has a 'mole cold' or a sore throat or any other infection of the mouth, nose or throat.

Q Doctor to my surprise, my girlfriend is pregnant. I am surprised because I am 62 years old.

How could we work out when the baby is due?

A Many men over the age of 60 are still very fertile. To calculate the approximate due date, you should take the date of the start of her last period, then add nine months and one week. A midwife could give you a more precise forecast.

Q I am a 26-year-old male and I have just developed mumps! Is it true that this will make me sterile?

A The only danger is if the virus attacked your testicles. You would know if this had occurred because the two glands would become very swollen and tender.

Q At the age of 38, I am planning to get married to a wonderful, sexy woman. My only concern is that at the age of 18, I caught gonorrhoea.

Is there any chance that I still have it, and might give it to my lovely bride? We have not had sex yet.

A As long as you had a thorough course of treatment all those years, you should be fine, and totally free of infection. Back in 1991, they had perfectly good antibiotics, and most people who had the clap were cured.

But to be absolutely certain, why not go to a doctor and have a simple test?

Send comments/questions to: editor@gleanerjm.com). Read more Doctor's Advice in the Saturday Gleaner.