Doctor's Advice - Me and my neighbour

Q Last month while my husband was abroad on business, I 'gave in' to a neighbour who has always been a good friend of ours. It was strictly a 'one-night stand', and I have no intention of ever doing anything like that again.

My husband came home, and we resumed intercourse. But last week, he developed some urinary symptoms. He went to a doctor who diagnosed chlamydia. He is now getting some treatment for this.  Please tell me, doctor did I catch the chlamydia from my neighbour, and then give it to my husband?

A That is quite possible, but there is an alternative scenario. Your husband may have played around while on his business trip, and thus acquired chlamydia from some other woman. But I am afraid that there is really no scientific way of telling where the bug came from.

However, one thing is pretty certain. It is highly likely that you now have chlamydia - regardless of whether you got it from your neighbour or from your husband. So you must get treated. Please go to a doctor right away for tests and advice. I think you should also tell your neighbour that he may have the infection.

Q Doctor, I live in England and I have a full and active sex life. To be honest, I am currently in a situation where I have three lovely girlfriends. Unfortunately, I have now started running into trouble with my prostate gland. I saw a surgeon last week, and he told me that maybe he should do a prostate operation on me next month. But I have heard that that operation can interfere with your sex life. Is that true, doctor? The surgeon did not say anything about it.

A Possibly, the surgeon was a little embarrassed about discussing sexual matters. Unfortunately, it is true that operations on the prostate gland do tend to interfere with the man's sex life. In fact, they often cause erectile dysfunction (ED). In other words, he may lose his nature.

There are two types of operation which the surgeon may be considering:

The first one is removal of the entire prostate gland. This is called prostatectomy. Regrettably, prostatectomy does usually cause complete loss of the ability to have erections.

There is also a milder operation, which is called trans-urethral resection, or TUR. In a TUR, the surgeon does not cut the stomach. Instead, he pushes a cutting instrument up inside the penis, and then uses the device to remove part of the prostate from the interior. I am afraid that a TUR does also tend to interfere with sexual function, but its effects may not be as drastic as those of removing the entire prostate gland.

I think you should speak to the surgeon's secretary, and ask her to find out which one of these two operations he is planning. Then try and arrange an appointment at which you can talk things over with the surgeon, in order to find out what the prospects for your sex life are.

Please remember that it may well be possible to continue a reasonably active sex life with the aid of Viagra or a similar drug. However, I have a feeling that your days of 'running around' with three girlfriends may be over.

Q I have been a little worried about my memory, ever since I reached the age of 50. My husband urged me to see the doctor, and she gave me a good check-up and told me where everything was fine. At the end of the consultation, she asked me to read back a list of numbers to her. Why did she do that?

A This was a simple test of your short-term memory. The idea is that if a doctor gives you a short list of numbers, you should be able to repeat them back to her.

For instance, here is a list of nine numbers. Read them once, then cover them with your hand and see if you can remember them: 7 3 4 9 8 1 2 0 4

If you get one or two of them wrong, do not fret. It is easy to make mistakes if you are slightly nervous or worried! But persons who repeatedly get a lot of the numbers wrong should see a doctor to discuss having a full-scale memory test.

Q I think I left a tampon inside me last week. It may still be there. Could that be serious, doctor?

A It would be a very bad thing. Tampons which are left inside tend to get infected, and this creates a very foul-smelling discharge. So you must try and get this tampon out. If you cannot, then ask a doctor to do it.

Q A woman who lives in Annotto Bay has emailed me to say that she is three months pregnant by me.But I know that, although we slept together, we did not go all the way. I 'pulled out' before orgasm, and I can distinctly recall that I ejaculated on her thigh. Am I right in saying that I could not possibly be the father?

A I am afraid that you cannot say that. It is clear that you had intercourse with this woman. So, even though you did not ejaculate inside of her, some of your sperm may have 'leaked' into her.

Furthermore, you say that you actually climaxed on her thigh. This means that there is a chance that some of your seminal fluid could have got inside her. Also, I must tell you that it has been known for women who want to become pregnant to 'help' the sperm into the vagina with their fingertips. All in all, there has to be quite a high chance that you are the baby's father. So all you can do is to ask for DNA paternity tests when the child is born.

Q My wife is 38, and she had never had an orgasm in her life until last month, when I discovered that I can make her climax by stimulating her clitoris with the tip of my organ. Am I right to continue using this method? Could it do either of us any harm?

A This is a recognised love-play technique, and experts recommend it as a way of helping a female to reach orgasm. It carries no health risks at all. Congratulations on helping your wife to achieve an orgasm after all these years.

Q I am a 27-year-old woman who has been married for six years. I have lost my appetite for sex, and I think this may be linked with a constant vaginal yeast infection.

A With the combination of lack of interest in sex and constant yeast infections, you must be tested for diabetes right away. 'Sugar' can cause both of these symptoms, so please have a blood test. If the test shows that you are not diabetic, then I suggest you have some marital/sexual counselling from am experienced therapist. Good luck.

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