Back-to-school BLUES

The woman looked at me, defeat clear in her eyes. She had spent the previous five or so minutes trying to get a young boy, who I assume was her son, to stop screaming. The boy though, his cheeks wet with tears, seemed unwilling to comply. It was, after all, back-to-school shopping and, inside that packed, unnaturally warm Kingston bookstore, there was very little to smile about.

"Daniel, do, stop di noise! Is not school yuh deh yuh know, is just di book dem we buying," the woman pleaded.

"Waah!" the boy wailed, his eyes tightly shut.

"Daniel!" the woman shouted.

It was only days before most schools across the country were set to open for the new school year, and the masses were out buying books and all the other necessary supplies. Shoppers inside that particular bookstore were getting testy.

The crying boy provided a mind-numbing score to the hectic events taking place. His bawling appeared to be getting on the nerves of people standing nearby.

The woman tried again to get him to stop crying.

"Daniel, if yuh nuh stop di bawling yuh see, me and yuh when we reach home!" she shouted.

"Waah!" The threat seemed only to antagonise him further.

A bearded man behind me had had enough.

"Clap di bwoy!" he exclaimed. Everyone standing nearby turned to look at him.

"Yes, is dat mi seh! Clap him mek him shet up! Mi head ah hot mi. Clap di pickney!" The man was furious.

The woman's eyes widened. "Move from round me!" she exclaimed.

"Yuh can tell mi what fi do wid my bwoy? But cuh pan yuh too!"

The man walked away, mumbling.

Luckily, the exchange appeared to have distracted the boy, causing him to stop crying. His eyes were now open and he was staring at the elderly man walking away.

The woman pulled him to the front of the store.

"Excuse me," someone beside me said.

I turned to find a short woman with long eyelashes. She was wearing at least seven earrings in each ear.

"Where di English book dem deh?" she asked. I told her I had no idea.

"Den how yuh wuk yah an' nuh know weh di book dem deh?" she quipped.

I quickly pointed out to her that I did not work there. It didn't help.

"Den how yuh just tan up deh? Yuh ah block di way, cho," she said and walked away.

A man and woman were standing next to each other not far from where I was. The woman was examining a textbook. "Den ah so much money fi dis one book?" she said. The man looked worried.

"Dem pickney betta nuh write inna di book. Next year, we can try sell dem back," the woman said. The man rubbed his forehead.

I walked to the front of the store where there was a very long line of people waiting to pay for their selections.

The cashier seemed to be moving speedily but the people in line were not impressed.

"Unnu have we tan up yah inna long line like we ah hog and goat. Move up di line!" someone shouted.

"All dem waah know is dat dem mek dem money. Dem nuh catah who wah cuss," another person said.

The woman who had earlier mistaken me for an employee, again appeared. She was heading for the door and, as luck would have it, I, again, was in her way. "Dah store yah too chuck up," she said as she approached me. "Eh eh," she exclaimed when she spotted me. "Den yuh still deh yah? Excuse mi mek mi pass, for yuh must ah look security work for yuh tan up ah watch like inspector," she said as she pushed by me and went out the door.

Where should Robert go next? Let him know at robert.lalah@gleanerjm.com.