Let's talk life

Dear Counsellor,

My son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). His behaviour has deteriorated over the past few years. He is unable to sit still or concentrate on task for any length of time. He has trouble learning and finishing schoolwork. He is easily distracted and is hyperactive. Sometimes he becomes aggressive, is frequently impulsive and has difficulty following instructions.

The psychiatrist prescribed medication and this has caused improvement in his behaviour. He is doing better in school and his reading has improved. We need to sensitise teachers and parents about this condition.

- Rose

Dear Rose,

I am glad that you got help for your son. Five per cent of children have Attention Deficit Disorder. A majority of them are undiagnosed. These children have to face school failures and rejection and so have low self-esteem. This condition needs to be caught when the child is less than seven years old so that treatment can be started. Many of these children have learning problems so their outcome is poorer.

The condition is easily treated and results in improvement in school grades and behaviour of the children. Teachers are part of the management team. The teacher has to recognise the problem and make the referral to the guidance counsellor, if there is one. Teacher needs to devise a programme plan to treat these children. Many times these children are picked up in the adolescence period, which is too late. Classroom management can be quite taxing, but the teacher will need to implement a programme for the students.

Dealing with sibling rivalry

Dear Counsellor,

My life is filled with problems. I have three children and they are unruly. They fight each other and are always in competition. I need help!

- Margie

Dear Margie,

Sibling rivalry is a normal reaction among children. Each child wants to be the only one and does not like the idea of sharing the parent. Children like to have siblings to play and talk with. However, they vie for attention, gifts, money and nurturing. As a parent, you have to be aware of this healthy competition between siblings. Children have to learn to resolve conflicts and settle disputes. They have to learn to negotiate and accept their limitations. You do not need to help them all the time. They will have to remember the times when you intervened and learn from that.

Sibling rivalry can get out of hand and you will have to step in quite firmly. Adult children can be angry at each other over perceived injustices that they face as children. Let your children talk with you about the many things that are affecting them. Talk to your children about the importance of family and loyalty. Each child needs to know that he can count on support from his brothers and sisters.

Discipline and care coexist so you need some rules. Allow the children to help in developing them. If they are involved in making up the rules, they will more likely obey them. Let them make up the rewards and punishments as well. Use the principles of 'reward sweetens labour'. Have a reward system. Catch them behaving appropriately and reward them with words. Words like 'good job', 'you are being kind to your sister' and 'you clean your room, that's good'. Look for small improvements and praise that. Rewarding good behaviour and punishing unruly ones will result in improvement.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.