Doctor's ADVICE: Will mom find out I'm no virgin?

Q: I am 19 and female, and next month, my mother is taking me to the doctor for a check-up. My mom thinks I am a virgin, but I am not. Will the doctor be able to tell that I have had sex on several occasions?

A: Much will depend on whether the doctor has to do a vaginal examination. If he does not have to do an 'internal', then he will not know that you have had sex.

But what if he needs to examine you vaginally? In practice, determining whether a young woman is a virgin is a little more difficult than you might think. But the probability is that the doctor will be able to detect that your hymen (virgin's veil) is not intact.

However, in view of the fact that you are now 19, the doctor may well regard this as a private matter between you and him. In this situation, many doctors would refrain from informing the young woman's mother.

Q: Since I was 17, I have tried to keep my male organ 'in trim' by pouring a small daily amount of rum on it, and then massaging that in. Now I have noticed a little bump at the spot where I apply the liquid. Is this anything to be concerned about, doctor?

A: Yes. Putting any kind of artificial stuff on the penis is potentially dangerous. I have seen a case in which a guy who put certain liquids on his male organ ended up by developing a very dangerous sore called a granuloma. Eventually, the penis was half destroyed by the granuloma, and it had to be amputated by a surgeon-specialist.

I do not suppose that matters are anything as bad in your case. But you should ask a doctor to take a look at this bump. And please, no more rum on the penis!

Q: After an intense night of sex with my boyfriend, my clitoris became pretty swollen and sore. I went to a doctor, who assured me that no permanent harm had been done, and that the swelling would go away. And it has now gone down so that everything looks normal. But is the doctor right in saying that no harm has been done?

A: Yes, he is. Young women do often get a tender swelling of the clitoris after, intensive love play. But generally, the swelling goes down over the next few days, and everything turns out OK.

Q: My girlfriend wants to go on the Pill for just one year, but would that affect her chances of getting pregnant after the one year is up?

A: No. It used to be thought that some women were infertile after being on the Pill, but that is now known to be untrue.

Q: Hi, Doc. I am a 19-year-old male who has been sexually active for a while now. And lately, I have been feeling some cramping in my testicles. Is that normal?

A: Slight cramping in the testicles is very common in young men. It mostly happens when they become sexually excited but have not discharged.

However, if you ever have any severe pain, you should check with a doctor.

Q: I am a 21-year-old female from Montego Bay who is in a relationship with a man who is in his mid-40s. He is a manager at the place where I work. He has a girlfriend about my age, but she doesn't know about me and him, though she may suspect. This guy and I have sex regularly, and he always uses a condom. He says he loves me and wants to continue our relationship because he is having problems with his girlfriend. I really love him, but I don't know if this relationship will last. What do you think?

A: Statistically, the chances are not good. This is a guy who is more than twice your age, and he is your boss. He is cheating on his girlfriend. About the only good thing is that he is using a condom.

Such big age-difference relationships do sometimes work, but to be frank, most do not.

I think you should start preparing yourself for the possibility that all of this may come to an end. Sorry.

Q: I'm writing about a major male problem that I have, which really needs to be corrected. It has to do with erections. At times, my erection does not stand up long enough for me to have sex. My girlfriend understands, but she is getting impatient - and so am I! I have been to doctors, and they say there is no physical problem with me. They give me quick-fix pills, but those only work for a short time after I take them. They say that stress is causing it. But although I may be stressed at times, most times I am calm. I'm really fed up because I'm sure I have a problem down in my penis. Can you advise sooner rather than later, please!

A: Sorry, but I do not think there is any medical condition 'down in the penis' that can cause erection difficulties in a young man. Your doctors seem to be well aware that in younger males, stress/anxiety is the commonest cause of erection problems.

The fact that quick-fix pills help you get good, prolonged erections does suggest that no serious physical disease is present.

Nevertheless, if you can afford it, you could go to another doctor and have a complete physical check-up, including a blood hormone test and a test for 'sugar'. If it still appears that there is nothing physically wrong with you, you may have to look at psychological ways of relaxing more before sex. Good luck!

Q: I am a 22-year-old female who has been having issues for some time now where I don't find myself having any interest in men or in sex. I do believe to some extent that I might be gay, but I am not yet certain of my sexuality. I would like to know how I could have a happy, healthy, sexual relationship. Would counselling help?

A: Yes, it might well do so. If you type the words 'counselling and Jamaica' into Google, you will find the names of several good services that could help you.

I cannot really advise you as to whether you are a lesbian. There are no medical tests for that. So time alone will tell.

My advice to you is not to rush into any relationships, with either sex, until you have had some good counselling. I wish you well.

Q: I recently had sex with a girl whose menses had finished about three days previously. We did not use any protection. Now she tells me that she is pregnant! Am I correct in thinking that I could not possibly be the father?

A: No, you are not correct at all. Let us assume that this young woman's period lasted six days. You had unprotected sex with her three days after that. This would be nine days into her cycle.

This means that your sperm went into her around three-four days before her point of maximum fertility. Therefore, there must be a high probability that you are the baby-father.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.