All that Jazz

By Daniel Thwaites

My resolution since the November Labour conference is to refuse large crowds unless I get a T-shirt and at least two Shearers. However, friendship weakens resolve. So a friendly invite to come along last Friday caused me to join the pilgrimage to the Jamaica Jazz & Blues Festival. I'm not certain just how much actual jazz or blues music was in the line-up, but I'm told (by same friend) that's beside the point.

It was overall an enjoyable time. But the organisers of events such as these must pay far more attention to the traffic arrangements. As the newspapers have been reporting, Celine Dion proved to be an enormous draw - as became painfully evident during the three and a half hours I sat in increasingly chaotic traffic, creeping from the Half Moon property to the Trelawny Multi-purpose Stadium.

At first, things proceeded with a semblance of order. Once or twice, a fleet of expensive vehicles shot around the line with a police outrider in front and like everyone else in line, I secretly swore at the dignitary or politician riding comfortably in the SUV and swilling champagne with his contractor friends. Of course, I couldn't see who it was exactly, but like everyone else, I just imagined that it had to be whoever last said something that I found annoying.

Certainly most of the country's leadership was present. One often hears the bitter complaint that while their supporters fight, leaders sip champagne with each other. This is only half-true. The drinks of choice would seem to be rum and whisky. Anyway, the new administration was well represented among the revellers, as were the outgoing rulers. Upon finally arriving, I searched in vain for Mike Henry, but everyone else seemed accounted for.

Traffic chaos and well-heeled walkers

Back on the road, the bad examples also weakened the resolve of we who were waiting patiently. So after a while, what was one line became two as cars lined up on the soft shoulder to seek an advantage. Before long, a third line formed on the side of the road that would normally be for oncoming traffic.

Thereafter, it wasn't long before the soft shoulder on the right of the road was also being used, and the road had become a four-lane highway of desperate patrons. Near the entrance of the venue, there were five distinct lines of traffic, each inching along with angry passengers.

It was now after 11 o'clock, so crowds simply ditched the cars and started trekking to the stadium. Many people, including a few young women dressed in heels, had to walk very long distances. When I say 'dressed in heels', I mean it literally. We've reached a national fashion spot where it's very important to cover one's feet expensively and well, but obviously nothing else needs to be covered.

I'm not complaining, just observing the trend. I spotted one gorgeous young woman charging down the highway in some substantial turquoise-coloured high heels, but who was otherwise unencumbered by clothing. The progression involved simultaneously lifting one of the enormous boots while balancing on the other. The slightly ridiculous figure actually weakened my resolve as I was sorely tempted to offer good Samaritan assistance. However, television cameras were even covering the traffic, and I didn't want to be caught like Lloyd B. By the time we eventually got to the venue, I saw her again, now trudging along more slowly, still lifting and balancing, but far less energetically. Hardship also weakens resolve.

Patrons deserve better

Really, though, there ought to have been far more police or other traffic guides. The actual production of the show was spectacular, but the traffic arrangements were terrible. Where inadequate preparations lead people to near desperation, it breeds chaos and unhappiness. Patrons deserve better.

The Gleaner reports Walter Elmore, organiser of the event, as saying, "The police were retained to manage the traffic system, and once there isn't substantial police presence on the road, the situation will not abate."

The report goes on: "According to him, the police were pulled from their respective duties to escort dignitaries." As one who was waiting while the dignitaries flew by, Mr Elmore's information would evoke words not printable in a family newspaper. Nor is it a suitable excuse from the management of the event. They ought to anticipate and manage dignitary and commoner alike so as not to weaken the public's resolve to return next year.

Daniel Thwaites is a partner of Thwaites, Lundgren & D'Arcy in New York, and currently qualifying for the Jamaican Bar. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.