We should get scientific help

By Robert Lalah

There's been much excitement in the world of science these past few days about the apparent discovery of a long-sought-after subatomic particle.

Scientists working in Switzerland announced that after a decades-long search, they finally found evidence of the subatomic particle called Higgs boson, or 'God particle', that could help explain why all matter has mass. For them, it's an important step towards the ultimate goal of developing a theory that explains just about everything, including how the universe began.

Now for many, particularly those seeking to be wrapped in the bosom of Abraham, this is all a bunch of hot air. Higgs boson. Who needs it? Give them a prayer book and an hour and they'll tell you how the universe came to be.

But whether we buy into this whole Higgs boson hoopla or not, there's reason enough for us all, as Jamaicans, to pay attention to the news out of Switzerland. You see, this research has, for many years, consumed the time and efforts of some of the world's most brilliant minds. We're talking the best particle and theoretical physicists in the world.

I figure that now that they've found what they were looking for, they probably have a lot of time on their hands.

Move quickly

We need to move quickly to get them to take on a Jamaican issue as their next case to study. They worked non-stop to find the Higgs boson, which many believed didn't even exist, and eventually they were successful. Now, they should go in search of something even more elusive - logical thinking in Jamaica.

A waste of time? Maybe not. Remember, some great scientists thought the Higgs boson would never be found. Even Stephen Hawking, perhaps the world's most famous theoretical physicist, said it would not happen. So there's no reason for us to be discouraged.

Logical thinking must take place in Jamaica, but where?

We seem to think primarily with our emotions, leaving little room for objectivity or 'middle ground' in our debates. Either something is the absolute worst thing since Hurricane Gilbert, or the best thing since that holiday we got after the Reggae Boyz qualified for the World Cup. There is no 'in-between'.

No opinion other than our own is worth anything.

And this kind of illogical thinking has done us much harm. It's the sort of reasoning that leads us to believe that if we support the JLP, the PNP is always wrong, and anyone who supports that party is a fist-pumping buffoon. If we support the PNP, the JLP jokers are nothing but a sorry set of fuddy-duddy bell-ringers.

It is of course good to have strong convictions and to stay true to our beliefs, but there's a huge difference between that and refusing to even consider the possibility that those with whom we disagree could actually have something valuable to say.

We think too much in extremes, and it has created much of the division that exists between us as a people. We are either PNP or JLP, Gaza or Gully, uptown or downtown, Bolt or Blake, and depending on which side we come down on, the other becomes the absolute enemy with no positive traits to speak of.

This is completely illogical, and if we continue this way, our foolish, self-created divisions will never disappear.

Sweeten the deal

This is why it's so important for us to get the Higgs boson scientists on our side. We don't have much time. I suggest we send our good minister of science and technology (and the requisite delegation of no fewer than 20 advisers) to Switzerland forthwith to try to convince the scientists to take on our case. If needs be, he can take along some authentic Jamaican jerk sauce or Blue Mountain coffee to sweeten the deal. Europeans love this stuff.

Usain Bolt might also be convinced to join the delegation briefly, to take some photos and kiss some babies so that we can get this done.

We'll have to have a good sales pitch, though. We need to really sell the idea to them. Something like:

"Good scientists of Europe, while there has been much work in the fields of protons, neutrons and electrons, nobody has thought to study the ways of morons."

This can be amended as needed.

I hope we decide to go for it. We may never have this opportunity again and if we miss our chance, I fear we might be doomed forever to languish in a state of perpetual daftness. And that can't be fun.

Robert Lalah is assistant editor - features and author of the popular 'Roving with Lalah'. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and robert.lalah@gleanerjm.com