Help, Doc, I think I'm too small

Q. Doc, do you think I will ever be able to have sex with a man? I am a girl of 19, and people say I am beautiful. Boys seem to like me. But I am worried. I have looked at my private parts in a mirror, and I am sure they are far too small for sexual intercourse. I have seen pictures of guys with their penises erect, and they all seem far too large to ever go inside me! My mother, who has now passed away, told me that women's openings were real small. She also said that sex would be very painful, and I still believe that. And yet I know other girls who have boyfriends, and who apparently enjoy intercourse with those young men. At present, I cannot imagine that I could ever do the same, unless the guy's organ was real tiny. By the way, I have tried to use those awful tampons when I menstruate, but I just cannot get them inside me. I hate them! This makes me even more sure that I am made real small. What can I do, doctor?

A.  Well, quite a lot of young women feel much the same as you do. They are frightened that the male organ will be much too big for them, and that it will hurt them. Such ideas are particularly common in cases where the girl was told in childhood by someone that the vagina is very narrow.

But in reality, it isn't. The vagina has an extraordinary capacity for stretching. After all, it is possible to get a baby's head through it - though admittedly with some difficulty! Young females who think that they are very small tend to be frightened of tampons, and I note that this is the case with you.

As it relates to sex, I can tell you that I have never seen a young female patient whose vagina was so small or narrow that she could not have sex with her partner. So I am quite certain that once you learn to relax, all will be well.

But how can you learn to relax? Well, there is a worldwide group of women doctors who have trained themselves to help young women learn to gently relax and 'de-contract' the vaginal muscles. They do this by a simple system of breathing exercises, which take away tension and help the vagina to open up.

So what I suggest that you do is to consult a sympathetic female doctor. She will examine you, and I am certain that she will be able to reassure you that your vagina is more than wide enough to accommodate the penis. She will also show you how to insert a tampon without difficulty. I am sure that everything will work out OK for you when you eventually decide to give up your virginity to your chosen partner. Good luck.

Q. I have noticed that one of my testicles hangs lower than the other. This has got me worried, Doc. I think about cancer a lot. Is this anything serious?

A. No. In virtually all males, one testicle hangs very slightly lower that the other one. That is absolutely normal, so you can quit fretting.

Q. Last week I was in bed with my new boyfriend, and he said to me, 'your clitoris is real small.' Since then, I have felt awful about myself. Is it possible to have a small clitoris, as he suggests? He seems to think it should be several inches long. Please advise.

A. It is most unfortunate that your boyfriend made this remark. But please consider this. How many clitorises do you think he has seen? My guess would be 'not very many'! Certainly, he is just talking foolishness when he says that the clitoris should be 'several inches long'. That is totally wrong. In reality, the clitoris is only about the size of a gungo pea. It gets a little bit bigger when a woman is sexually excited, but not very much.

Indeed, anatomy textbooks state that the length of the clitoris is generally only about one quarter of an inch, which is around 0.65 centimetres.

I imagine that your boyfriend's confused belief that the clitoris should be 'several inches' long stems from something he has read about the research of an Australian doctor. Around 13 years ago, she found that the roots of the clitoris run much farther than was previously thought, extending for several inches under the skin and down towards the vagina. Nevertheless, the clitoris itself is very tiny.

Q. Last night, I had sex with a girl in Mandeville. It only lasted for around one second before she changed her mind and pushed me out, Doc. But would this have been long enough for me to catch a sexually transmitted infection (STI)?

A. Yes, any vaginal penetration, no mater how short, can lead to an STI. Probably you are going to be OK. But if you get any unusual symptoms, such as pain in passing urine or a discharge on the inside of your pants, you should see a doctor right away.

Q. I am six months pregnant, and am no longer seeing the father. However, last week I rather unwisely let an older guy have sex with me. I now regret doing this, and I will not do it again. But could this episode have harmed my baby?

A. That is unlikely, though there is always a slight risk of infection reaching the baby when a pregnant woman has casual sex.The likelihood is that all will be well. But please inform your midwife or doctor that you have recently had sex. I wish you well.

Q. I have noticed that my fiancé sometimes strokes himself, shortly before he has sex with me. Does this indicate that he is kinky, or has some problem, Doc?

A. No. A lot of young men do this just before entry, simply to make sure they are stiff enough. So there is no need to fret about him.

Q. Doc, does the Pill give a girl cancer, as I have heard? I took it for three months last year, but have not used it since then.

A.  You have no need to fear. The relationship between the Pill and cancer is quite complicated. In fact, it slightly increases the risk of some types of cancer, but slightly reduces the risk of some others.

To be more specific:

• The Pill slightly increases your chance of breast cancer;
• It slightly increases your chances of cervical cancer;
• It slightly decreases your risk of womb cancer;
• It slightly decreases the risk of ovarian cancer.

However, you were only on the Pill for three months, and any effect of that short spell would be just about nil.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.