Let's talk life - Plenty life after retirement

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Contributor

Dear Counsellor,

I have been reading your articles and find that you give a balanced approach to the issues that are discussed. I am a senior citizen and I am enjoying my retirement. I lead a very busy life by being occupied with my church activities and in my community. I visit the sick and the shut-ins. We make care packages at church and distribute them to the needy. I am a member of a prayer group and I help out at the day care centre.

I would like to tell the retirees that they can live fulfilling lives if they are physically able.

- Angela

Dear Angela,

As the saying goes, work is never done. I view retirement as a change in one's routine. There is work aplenty for everyone. The senior citizen has a variety of suggestions and tips to share with the younger members of society. The elderly can help with the development of little children. The Jamaican society has a rich oral tradition, and storytelling should be encouraged. The old can pass on the rich heritage to the young. Many issues remain the same and senior citizens can share their skills and experiences with the youth.

The senior citizen will feel appreciated and useful while the youth will get information, which can help with decision-making. The young dreams of life while the old has seen life.

Some retirees want a period of rest and relaxation and rejuvenation of the spirit. In making this transition, the retiree may take a long trip abroad and see other cultures and societies. During the period of rest, sometimes you may get a new perspective on life. You may choose to have a new career or go back to school to learn about old or new things. Craftwork is always available and this can be a new hobby for you.

It is good to be involved in community activities as this will enrich your life. There are lots of needs going unfulfilled, and we need the services of individuals who are experienced and trained.

Rebellious 16-y-o

Dear Counsellor,

I have a 16-year-old daughter who refuses to follow my rules. She wants to come and go as she wishes. She does little schoolwork. I need help.

- Maise

Dear Maise,

The teenage years can be filled with turmoil and problems. Parenting a teenager is challenging and exciting. New things are being discovered and parents find that they are reliving their teenage years. Parents don't want their children to make the mistakes that they did; however, some teenagers are strong-willed and insist on following the path of destruction.

Teenagers are neither full adults nor children. They want to set their own rules and are risk-takers; however, they don't want to face the consequences of their actions. They can be defiant at times. Teenagers want to follow each other and join the crowd. Peer pressure can be good or bad.

You need to take your daughter to a counsellor as she needs to learn to set goals, accept limits, and conform to rules. In this society, there are counsellors in abundance. The police, pastors, and school personnel are there to help. There are counsellors in hospitals and health centres. The counsellor will seek to identify the strengths of your daughter and use those to make changes and boost self-esteem.

Going to high school is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and your daughter needs to make good use of her time and academics. She needs to make a commitment to improve her behaviour and her academics.

Some teenagers give problems, but later settle down and behave themselves. As a mother, you will need help with your parenting strategies and management of your anger.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.