Doctor's Advice - Am I a premature ejaculation magnet?

Q Doc, why do I keep picking guys who experience premature ejaculation? I am a female of 23, and to be honest with you, I have had six boyfriends over the last two years. Every single one of them has orgasmed far too soon for me. As a result, I rarely reach a climax. The guys make all sorts of excuses, and say things like, 'Sorry, darling. You were much too exciting for me.' But that is no consolation. Why do I keep choosing these guys, Doctor? Is there a particular type of man who is liable to premature ejaculation?

A: Not really, although premature ejaculation (PE) does tend to be associated with anxiety. I suppose it could be that for some reason, you tend to pick slightly anxious guys.

We must bear in mind that according to some experts, around 10 per cent of the male population has PE. So it is a very common condition, therefore, it could be just bad luck that you have encountered so many males who orgasm too soon.

But I am wondering whether all your previous partners really were premature ejaculators. You don't say how long they 'lasted'. Did some of them only manage about 30 seconds? That would certainly be PE. But did any of them last for maybe 10 minutes? Most doctors would not regard that as premature.

So I am wondering if it could be that part of your problem is that you have difficulty in reaching a climax, and so you think that your partners aren't lasting long enough. If so, then you would benefit from one of the many sites on the Internet which offer help to women who have orgasmic difficulties. For instance, you could look at: www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/cant-orgasm-heres-help-for-women.

My final thought is this: It seems to me that having six guys in two years is quite risky behaviour. It exposes you to all sorts of dangers, particularly chlamydial infection. Maybe you have had all these partners because you were trying to find a better lover who would give you orgasms. But in any case, I feel that you should avoid 'playing the field'. And please always practise safe sex.

Q. I am a guy of 17, and last week I was seduced by a much older lady. I think she was around 40, but very attractive. Can I safely assume that at her age she could not possibly have gotten pregnant by me?

A. No, you can't ! Many ladies of 40 are still pretty fertile. I just hope that this mature woman was experienced enough to have taken reliable contraceptive precautions.

Q. I am 19 and a virgin. I cannot use tampons. Last week, I went to a woman doctor for an internal examination. It hurt. Afterwards, she told me that she had diagnosed something called vaginism. But what is vaginism, please?

A. This is an alternative name for vaginismus, which is common in young women. It is a sort of muscle contraction which occurs whenever an approach is made to the vagina. That is why you cannot use tampons. It is a psychological condition, but it can be cured through learning to relax the vaginal muscles. I hope that the doctor who examined you will help you to do this. Good luck!

Q. I am 18, and I think I have a swelling in my right testicle. Could this be cancer?

A. Fortunately, cancer of the testicle is not too common in Jamaica. But when it happens, it is mainly in your age group, so you must see a doctor right away and have him examine your scrotum. You may need to take an ultrasound scan to make sure that all is well.

Q. I have just switched to a new brand of tampons, and after putting the first one in, I experienced a bad stinging and itching sensation. It was so unpleasant that I had to take it out immediately. It was several days before I recovered. Fortunately, I am not 'due' again for a fortnight. What do you think the problem was, Doc?

A. This strongly suggests an allergy. It is very unusual to be allergic to tampons, so I wonder if the pack was contaminated in any way. Alternatively, you may have had something on your fingers which caused this reaction. As I am sure you are aware, the fingers must be clean before putting in or taking out a tampon.

My advice is to switch to another brand when you have your menses in a couple of weeks.In the meantime, I think you would be justified in writing to the tampon makers and asking them if they have any idea why their brand seemed to produce this reaction.

Q. I am male, age 17, and I keep getting itching between my thighs and next to my testicles. It is very itchy and sore, and the skin keeps flaking off. It is making my sports training very difficult. Is this some form of VD, Doc?

A. No. It is almost certainly a common fungal infection, which affects so many young men, and some young women, particularly if they do a lot of sport. I suggest you buy a tube of anti-fungus cream from a pharmacy. Apply this three times a day for a fortnight. Also, make sure you dry yourself thoroughly whenever you have taken a shower. If these measures do not work, then ask a doctor to take a look at you.

Q. My fiancé wants to 'share' me with his best friend in bed. He gets excited about the idea that I should have sex with both of them, one after the other, but I am not so sure. What do you think, Doc?

A. I think it is foolishness! What sort of fiancé is this guy who wants to 'split' you with his best friend? He isn't going to make much of a husband, is he? I think you should call off your engagement and let this guy and his friend try and find some other girl to play crazy games with.

Q. My girlfriend has yeast, and her doctor wants me to use anti-yeast cream as well. I have no symptoms. Is this reasonable, Doc?

A. Yes. It is possible that you might be carrying the fungus which causes 'yeast' infection, even though you have no symptoms. Some couples do seem to pass the fungus back and forth between them like ping-pong. Using the cream will do you no harm.

Q. I am trying desperately to get pregnant before Christmas. I have a 28-day cycle. When would be the best day to try?

A. You should try for a baby round about your ovulation day. This is likely to be 12 to 14 days after the start of the menses. If you can afford to buy an ovulation kit from a pharmacy, you could pinpoint the ovulation day more precisely.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow