Doctor's ADVICE Condom Counselling

Q Doc, we are a young couple, age 22 and 21, and we are very much in love. Both of us were virgins when we started seeing each other. We would value your advice. To be frank, Doctor, we cannot restrain ourselves from having sex. We had not realised what a powerful force it would be. But we both have careers ahead of us, and we have no wish to start having children right now. Therefore, we have reluctantly decided that we should use condoms in the future. We have not bought any yet because we know nothing about them. Can you advise us on a few points, Doc? In particular: Are condoms safe in preventing pregnancy? Do they reduce the feelings in sex, as we have heard? Are they easy to put on? We have a male friend who says that he cannot manage this at all! Also, is it true that there is some kind of female condom? And is it any good? Your assistance would be appreciated.

A I am very pleased to help you. Yes, I would recommend that any young couple who wants to have sex uses condoms. Not only do they prevent unwanted pregnancy, but they also greatly reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Of course, in your case there may be no risk of STIs because neither of you has had sex with anyone else.

OK, so let me answer your questions one by one:

Yes, condoms are very good at preventing pregnancy. Occasional mishaps do occur, particularly if the condom breaks during sex. So avoid handling it roughly, and take care not to tear it with rings on your fingers or anything else sharp.

Also, and this is most important, ensure that you put the condom on just before starting intercourse. Putting it on when you are half-way through is dangerous. The man should wear it all the way through the act of intercourse and make certain that it does not 'spill' when he withdraws.

I am afraid that it is true that male condoms do slightly reduce the pleasant feelings associated with sex. Also, some females say that the sensations are less agreeable when the guy wears a condom, but others do not notice any difference.

Some condom manufacturers deny that there is any reduction in sensitivity, but many users would say that they are wrong! However, the loss of feeling is only very slight.

Yes, condoms are easy to put on - provided you know what you are doing. Please do not attempt to put it on till the guy is erect. It must be carefully rolled on to the fully stiff organ. I am sorry that your friend has had trouble with putting on condoms. This sounds like the famous 'Condom Collapse Syndrome', which affects many young males. What happens is that they get nervous while they are trying to put the device on, and their nerves cause them to lose their erection.

Finally, you ask if there is "some kind of female condom". Yes, there is. It is like a little 'bag', which the woman puts inside herself, just before sex. It works extremely well and is particularly useful for the female who wants to control her own contraception. I recently saw them on sale in a pharmacy in Port Antonio under the brand name 'Femidom', so they are not difficult to find.

I wish you both well. And I advise all young couples who are determined to have sex: don't 'ride bareback'. Use a condom!

Q Is aspirin good enough for period pain?

A For many young women, taking two aspirins should be enough to dull the pain to a bearable level. If aspirin isn't sufficient, try paracetamol (acetaminophen), or ibuprofen. And if those measures don't succeed, please see a doctor.

Incidentally, please note that all the above painkillers can cause painful irritation of the lining of the stomach. So if you get a pain in the belly after taking any of them, please stop and seek medical advice.

QI am a guy of 19, and if I get sexually excited while on a date, but don't discharge, I get a bad pain in both testicles. Is this serious, Doc?

A No. It is a normal phenomenon caused by the fact that the testicles have become congested but have been unable to release their contents. It is so common that it is known by various names such as 'the gravels'. Doctors sometimes call it by the Latin expression orchitis amorosa acuta.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.

Q Doc, I am female and I have been having sexual intercourse for about five years now. Yet I have never experienced an orgasm.

I have had strong feelings during the event, but that's where it stop. What could be the problem?

A I hope that when you have intercourse, you are practising safe sex. Young women who are not using contraception are sometimes so worried about getting pregnant that they cannot relax enough to be able to climax.

However, I must tell you that quite a lot of younger women do not learn to discharge until they are far into their 20s. Also, I think that like a lot of people you may not have realised the simple fact that intercourse alone does not generally make women climax.

That finding has been proved by survey after survey. The majority of females cannot orgasm unless some stimulus is applied to the clitoris. A surprising number of young women and men do not realise this, and think that any female who has intercourse should automatically have a climax.

I feel you would benefit from having some sessions with a youth counsellor, if there is one in your area. Failing that, why not have a chat with an experienced nurse or midwife?

Q I am a guy who lost my virginity last week with an older woman in Negril. Since then, I have been feeling shaky and had low feelings and pains. I looked in an old medical textbook, and saw where these could be the symptoms of a form of an STI called tertiary syphilis. Do you think I have this, Doc?

A No way! Tertiary syphilis takes around 20 years to develop, so it is quite impossible that you have got it in a week.

Please see a doctor so he can assess your symptoms.

Q I am male, aged 17, and I only reached puberty a year ago. What worries me Doc, is that I have always understood that the testicles are supposed to 'drop' downwards at puberty.

This definitely did not happen to me. Am I OK?

A It is a common myth that the testicles 'drop' at puberty. That simply does not happen. So you have no need to fret about that.

However, I am a little concerned that you apparently did not reach puberty till 16, which is slightly late. So I think it would be not a bad idea to consult a doctor, and ask him to give you a good check-up.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.