Our First Christmas

Shanica Blair,  Gleaner Writer

Christmas is often family time and, for young couples spending their first Christmas together, they are faced with the decision of where to spend it. Do they spend it with the husband's family? The wife's family? Or should they spend it alone together? Outlook spoke to three recently married couples about their plans for Christmas this year.

• Leon Kerr and Nickay Thompson-Kerr
  

Leon and Nickay got married on August 17 and have since moved into their own home.

"We weren't living together before we got married because we are Christians and our parents are, too, so we couldn't live together before we got married. We got our house and I moved in a month before our wedding, then he moved in after the wedding in August," Nickay explained.

She told Outlook that there was never a problem in trying to decide where the couple was going to spend their first Christmas.

"It's new to us, actually. We want to include both sides of the family," she said.

"There was never a problem with the choice, because we both understand that we have to share and be with our families at this time of the year. We don't want our parents to feel left out, so we were open to share the season. We will be going to Clarendon to his family, then back to Montego Bay to my family.

"We live in Montego Bay, so we wanted to go to Clarendon first so we can come back for work immediately after Christmas, on Boxing Day, to have dinner with my family," she told Outlook.

"This is our first, so we want to interact with each other's family. It's a good opportunity for us to really get to know each other's side. Many relatives and friends from both sides were at the wedding, but we didn't get to interact, so this first Christmas will be the perfect opportunity to get to know them," she adds.

According to Nickay, "I want to make family dinner at my house a Christmas tradition."

• John and Caleen Mantock

"We got married on August 15, 2013 and
it's really nice looking forward to Christmas with Caleen. I am not
nervous, because we have known each other for 10 years. I am settled and
quite comfortable going into the Christmas season this year. We are
going to stay with my family right here in Summerfield, Clarendon," John
told Outlook.

"There were no glitches trying
to decide where we are going to stay for Christmas because we cannot do
a lot of things because of lack of funds," he
added.

• Jahvaska and Melicia
  Hemmings

"We got married on December 23 last year, so
we basically spent Christmas on our honeymoon. It is going to be the
best Christmas for us, especially because it is going to be our first
Christmas together as a family. We welcomed our daughter Jade to the
family in August," Melicia told
Outlook.

"We are going to go to his
father's house, then back to our house for Christmas dinner. We only
have my mom and his dad because his mom died last year, so we don't have
that many options in terms of where to spend Christmas," she
said

"We are planning on spending a night at a hotel
this Christmas and I want to make family dinner at our house a Christmas
tradition," she ended.

• Getting
  through the holidays

According to
counselling psychologist André Allen Casey, couples should first of all
try and visit both families during the festive season, especially on
Christmas Day.

However, if that is not possible, he
advises doing some negotiation and visiting the in-laws that are living
far away that they don't get to see or talk to frequently.

"The thing is that the in-laws that the couple is in
contact with more frequently won't make a big deal if the couple should
visit the in-laws they don't get to see very
often."

Visitation is important, and when visiting,
bring something - like a family portrait/ portrait of the bride and
groom.

"Make it the same portrait for both families,
because you don't want one set to feel left out," he told
Outlook.

However, spending the
holidays with the in-laws can be uncomfortable for some persons. Allen
Casey gave us some tips on how to survive the holidays with the
in-laws.

1. If you start a tradition, try and keep it.
If you are going to alternate - whatever you do, come what may, try and
maintain it.

2. Put your best foot forward. If you
are going to visit your in-laws, make them feel visited, even if the
relationship is strained. Now is not the time to rehash anything,
irrespective of how you feel.

3. Don't let your visits
turn your in-laws into outlaws. Don't turn them into Christmas
ornaments - don't let Christmas be the only time you visit and contact
them.