Badman police write book
Published:Sunday | January 19, 2014 | 12:00 AM
Carolyn Cooper
CHAKA-CHAKA SPELLING
A dat Isaiah Laing call imself. Badman police! Wat a oxymoron, as dem seh inna English! A no even English. A Greek! 'Oxy' mean sharp an 'moron' mean dull. Pure confusion!
Mi never know seh badman an police a friend. Much more fi di two a dem go mix up inna one somebody. An mi nah seh police a di 'moron' an badman a di brains. Mi no want no ignorant police come look fi mi.
Fun an joke aside, Isaiah Laing tell fi im story inna im book weh im call Point Blank Range. Seet deh! A gunman business dat. Yu see di 'blank'. Dat come from French, 'blanc'. It mean 'white'. Di lickle white spot weh yu point di gun pon. But 'point blank' have a next meaning. Talk plain and straight. An a dat Laing do inna fi im book.
DEM FI PUT I PON CXC
A no Laing directly write di book. Im aks Dr Vernella Fuller, one good-good writer, fi help im tell di story. She write two novel: Going Back Home an Unlike Normal Women. An she write a next book a short story, Returnee, weh come out December gone. Unu fi read di whole a dem.
Dr Fuller a one a fi wi talawa Jamaica woman weh go a England when she a pikni. She mek up her mind fi come back home. She set up The English Language Centre a Montego Bay. An it a gwaan good-good.
So hear how di badman police meet di English teacher. Bout 16 year aback, Dr Fuller a live a England an she go a one West Indian shop. She an di owner start talk an im tell her seh im read her book weh did just come out. Then im tell her bout im friend a Jamaica weh waan write book bout im life. A Laing dat. Di next time Laing go a England, im friend link im wid Dr Fuller, an a so it start.
She come a Jamaica fi talk to nuff people who know Laing. An she write di first version a di book. It did put down fi one long time. An then dem pick it up again. Dem go through di book an Laing change up, change up wat im want, so til di two of dem satisfy. Di book good. Mi nah mek mistake seh dem fi put i pon CXC syllabus. Mi no waan dem nyam mi raw, seh mi a defend badman police!
PRAPA-PRAPA SPELIN
A dat Isaiah Laing kaal imself. Badman poliis! Wat a oxymoron, az dem se in a Ingglish! A no iivn Inglish. A Griik! 'Oxy' miin shaap an 'moron' miin dol. Pyuur kanfyuujan!
Mi neva nuo se badman an poliis a fren. Moch muor fi di tuu a dem go miks op ina wan sombadi. An mi naa se poliis a di 'moron' an badman a di brienz. Mi no waahn no ignarant poliis kom luk fi mi.
Fon an juok asaid, Isaiah Laing tel fi im stuori ina im buk we im kaal Point Blank Range. Siit de! A gonman bizniz dat. Yu si di 'blank'. Dat kom fram French, 'blanc'. It miin 'wait'. Di likl wait spat we yu paint di gon pan. Bot 'point blank' av a neks miinin. Taak plien an striet. An a dat Laing du in a fi im buk.
DEM FI PUT I PAN CXC
A no Laing dairekli rait di buk. Im aks Dr Vernella Fuller, wan gud-gud raita, fi elp im tel di stuori. Shi rait tuu navl: Going Back Home an Unlike Normal Women. An shi rait a neks buk a shaat stuori, Returnee, we kom out Disemba gaan. Unu fi riid di uol a dem.
Dr Fuller a wan a fi wi talawa Jamieka uman we go a Inglan wen shi a pikni. Shi mek op ar main fi kom bak uom. Shi set op The English Language Centre a Mantigo Bie. An it a gwaan gud-gud.
So ier ou di badman poliis miit di Inglish tiicha.
Shi kom a Jamieka fi taak tu nof piipi uu nuo Laing. An shi rait di fos vorjan a fi buk. It did pudong fi wan lang taim. An den dem pik it op agen. Dem go chruu di buk an Laing chienj op, chienj op wat im waahnt, so til di tuu a dem satisfai. Di buk gud. Mi naa mek mistiek se dem fi put i pan CXC silabos. Mi no waahn dem nyam mi raa, se mi a difen badman poliis!
Carolyn Cooper is a professor of literary and cultural studies at the University of the West Indies, Mona. Visit her bilingual blog at http://carolynjoycooper.wordpress.com. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and karokupa@gmail.com.