Right-of-way? A wa dat?

CHAKA-CHAKA SPELLING

Mi no know wa wi a go do bout di whole heap a driver dem weh no know nutten bout di rule dem weh supposen fi control traffic. Dem never hear bout road code. One a di worse problem a right-of-way. Who fi go first. Plenty people no know wa dat mean. An even if dem do know, dem nah bodder wid dat. Dem dis do as dem please.

One time, mi a go down di road an dis man im a come up. An im mek up im mind fi turn right, front a mi. An when mi never stop mek im turn, hear weh di man tell mi wid im bright self, "T'rough yu av di right-of-way mek yu a fi a gwaan so?" Mi dis kiss mi teeth. Mi lucky im did know seh a mi av di right-of-way. An mussi t'rough mi a woman, mi fi gi up mi rights. Man fi dis tek i.

One next time, mi deh pon di main road, an one man a come outa di side road. An im a come down pon mi. An when mi never mek im force een, hear weh di wutliss man bawl out, 'byman!' T'rough mi hair short, im mussi did tink seh mi a man. So a diss im a diss di 'man' fi no gi up im right-a-way. Wat a sinting! If yu a man, a yu no mek a next man bore een pon yu, yu a bman? Wa kind a eedyat argument dat?

DRIVE INNA 'PATWA'

One nodder time, wen mi tell one next man seh a mi av di right-of-way, hear im wid im fool-fool self, 'Everybody av di right-of-way!' Mi nearly dead wid laugh. Im mussi tink seh 'right-of-way' mean di right fi deh pon di road. An even then. If yu nah no license, yu no av no business a drive. Yu no av no right fi a get eena people way.

Then mi come fi find out seh all police no understand right-of-way! Mi know seh roundabout an four-way stop a special problem. Everybody a runjostle. But mi couldn't believe it wen one policeman tell mi seh nobody no av di right-of-way at di roundabout. Yu just ha fi look out an fit een. Mi tell im seh nutten no go so an im fi go find out. Couple day later, mi see im again an im tell mi seh im check an im right. Nobody no av di right-of-way.

Dat a weh wi reach in a disya country. Everybody av di right-of-way; nobody no av di right-of-way. An who know how right-of-way go dis tek it from yu. Right away! An mi know seh some a oonoo nah go agree wid mi now. But mi know seh wi better put out di road code pon CD an talk out di rule dem in a fi wi Jamaican language.

Mi no know if oonoo know seh nuff driver out deh cyaan read an write. Oonoo tan deh! Dem cyaan read di sign dem pon di road. An dem nah aks nobody wat dem mean. Memba se everybody got di right-of-way. All who cyaan read. All who no av no licence. Wen yu see some a di ting weh dem do - turn left from right-hand lane - yu done know a pure ignorance dat.

So it suit wi fi mek sure seh all a di driver dem understand wa mek wi got code fi control di road. An mi rather dem know di code inna Patwa dan dem no know di code at all at all. Better di whole a wi drive inna Patwa dan crash inna English.

PRAPA-PRAPA SPELIN

Mi no nuo wa wi a go du bout di uol iip a jraiva dem we no nuo notn bout di ruul dem we sopuozn fi kanchroul chrafik. Dem neva ier bout ruod kuod. Wan a di wos prablem a rait-a-wie. Uu fi go fos. Plenti piipl no nuo wa dat miin. An iivn if dem du nuo, dem naa bada wid di ruul dem. Dem dis du az dem pliiz.

Wan taim, mi a go doun di ruod an dis man im a kom op. An im mek op im main fi ton rait, front a mi. An wen mi neva stap mek im ton, ier we di man tel mi wid im brait self, "Chruu yu av di rait-a-wie mek yu a fi a gwaan so?" Mi dis kis mi tiit. Mi loki im did nuo se a mi av di rait-a-wie. An mosi chruu mi a uman, mi fi gi op mi raits. Man fi dis tek i.

Wan neks taim, mi de pan di mien ruod, an wan man a kom outa di said ruod. An im a kom doun pan mi. An wen mi neva mek im fuors iin, ier we di wotlis man baal out, 'Btiman!' Chruu mi ier shaat, im mosi did tingk se mi a man. So a dis im a dis di 'man' fi no gi op im rait-a-wie. Wat a sinting! If yu a man, a yu no mek a neks man buor iin pan yu, yu a btiman? Wa kain a iidyat aagyument dat?

JRAIV IINA 'PATWA'

Wan neda taim, wen mi tel wan neks man se a mi av di rait-a-wie, ier im wid im fuul-fuul self, 'Evribadi av di rait-a-wie!' Mi nierli ded wid laaf. Im mosi tingk se 'rait-a-wie' miin di rait fi de pan di ruod. An iivn den. If yu naa no laisn, yu no av no bizniz a jraiv. Yu no av no rait fi a get iina piipl wie.

Den mi kom fi fain out se aal poliis no andastan rait-a-wie! Mi nuo se rounabout an fuor-wie stap a speshal prablem. Evribadi a ronjosl. Bot mi kudn biliiv it wen wan poliisman tel mi se nobadi no av di rait-a-wie at di rounabout. Yu jos ha fi luk out an fit iin. Mi tel im se notn no go so an im fi go fain out. Kopl die lieta mi si im agen an im tel mi se im chek an im rait. Nobadi no av di rait-a-wie.

Dat a we wi riich in a disya koncrhi. Evribadi av di rait-a-wie; nobadi no av di rait-a-wie. An uu nuo ou rait-a-wie go dis tek it fram yu. Rait awie! An mi nuo se som a unu naa go agrii wid mi nou. Bot mi nuo se wi beta put out di ruod kuod pan CD an taak out di ruul dem in a fi wi Jamiekan langwij.

Mi no nuo if unu nuo se nof jraiva out de kyaahn riid an rait. Unu tan de! Dem kyaahn riid di sain dem pan di ruod. An dem naa aks nobadi wat dem miin. Memba se evribadi gat di rait-a-wie. Aal uu kyaahn riid. Aal uu no av no laisn. Wen yu si som a di ting we dem du - ton lef fram rait-an lien - yu don nuo a pyuur ignarans dat.

So it suut wi fi mek shuor se aal a di jraiva dem andastan wa mek wi gat kuod fi kanchroul di ruod. An mi raada dem nuo di kuod ina Patwa dan dem no nuo di kuod at aal at aal. Beta di uol a wi jraiv iina Patwa dan krash iiina Ingglish.

Carolyn Cooper is a teacher of English literature and language. Visit her bilingual blog at http://carolynjoycooper.wordpress.com. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and karokupa@gmail.com.