Homosexual 'choices'

By Garth A. Rattray

The recent hullaballoo about homosexuality made me wonder about the choices they have. Thanks to my disciplined yet liberal upbringing (as it related to how we perceived others), I have never experienced wariness or prejudice towards homosexuals.

I have always been extremely secure in my own sexuality and I never considered homosexuals as 'perverts'; they are just what they are. Perverts may be heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual, but the converse is not necessarily true.

In my line of work, I have met many people of varied sexualities. I have a strong suspicion that there are more female homosexuals than there are male homosexuals. It seems to me that females are far more emotionally and physically expressive towards one another, practise grooming one another, and share a lot more intimacies than men do. If so inclined, the journey to homosexual or bisexual practices is a short one.

Some people quickly condemn and vilify homosexuals. They say that they choose to be what they are. Some claim that homosexuality can be treated and even cured. I doubt if any of these opinionated 'experts' ever sat face to face and genuinely listened to any homosexual explain his /her sexuality.

I find it strange when people quote the Bible selectively. They behave as if the Bible only spoke of one 'abomination' - homosexuality; but there are many others, including the shedding of innocent blood, lying, adultery, fornication, pride, eating 'unclean' animals, cheating at commerce, and so on. Where is the disdain for the others?

Abominations

Has anyone wondered why homosexuality was called an 'abomination'? Was it because of the 'eew' factor, or was it because no homosexual union can produce progeny naturally?

After many years of listening to male and female homosexuals explain their inner feelings, I believe that many are born with immutable homosexual 'programming' and cannot help being what they are. They are not sexually attracted to the opposite gender and no amount of trying on their part can change that.

Likewise, heterosexuals are not sexually attracted to their same gender and they cannot change that either. It's just the way some people are programmed.

Some homosexuals were steered in that direction because they were exposed to homosexuality (perhaps by a peer or by an older individual or from being molested) during a critical developmental stage in their lives. Some people are not wired for homosexuality, but practise it because they are sexually confused, use their bodies as a means to an end, lascivious or so bored with straight sex that they resort to the thrill of taboo, same-gender intimacy. I strongly suspect that the last category is how most people (wrongly) view all homosexuals.

So, what (sexual) 'choices' do homosexuals have? Should they remain celibate all their lives because they are not sexually attracted to the opposite gender, but religion and society forbid them from same-gender intimacy?

Living a lie

Should they live a painful lie by masquerading as heterosexuals? Should they live a heterosexual lie and secretly submit to their homosexual urges? Or should they do what heterosexuals do and follow their urges for intimacy even though, in their case, it's same-gender?

I'm not defending anyone, but I also think that we don't have the right to judge. And religious beliefs should not make us legislate the intimate/private relationships between consenting adults.What consenting adults on equal footing choose to do in bed should be their business. As for the health risks involved, many heterosexual couples consistently engage in the exact same sexual practices as homosexual men. Aren't condoms around anymore?

I can't fathom the seething anger and disgust surrounding people's private sexual lives. If murders, rapes, armed robberies, kidnappings and child abuse generated similar passionate public repugnance, uproar, political commitments and organised fervent religious objections, we would have a safe and peaceful society.

Garth A. Rattray is a medical doctor with a family practice. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and garthrattray@gmail.com.