Gordon Robinson | Local Domino Awards 2023

2024 opens with our 13th annual visit to my Memorial for the Khooky Khast of Kharacters from my wasted youth’s domino games.

Some might be ungrateful for their awards especially those named after the Dunce, a happy-go-lucky guy who allowed nothing to faze him. Be like him. Don’t worry. Be happy. Definitely don’t waste energy sending irate missives. I won’t waste mine reading them.

Dunce Award: PNP General Secretariat, led by DAYTON “Chatty Chatty” CAMPBELL, wins on the bridle for too many cock-ups of PNP’s electoral efforts. Candidate selection in South-East St. Ann; North-West St Catherine; South-East St Catherine; Eastern Portland et al have been textbook examples of how not to do it. Then GenSec himself decides to contest a seat instead of focusing on leading island wide electoral operations (a.k.a. his job!) and, lo and behold, encounters opposition from Comrades in the constituency into which he ham fistedly parachutes himself.

Chatty Chatty, the Dunce says: If a macca, mek it jook yu!

Dunce Move of the Year Award: ISAT “Little Youth” BUCHANAN stands head and shoulders above nominees for orally flagellating Paula Llewellyn (and Delroy Chuck). He subsequently explained he was medicated. With what? Mad puss peepee? General Legal Council slapped him with a wholly excessive two-year suspension but, it must be said, he dug his own hole. And kept digging.

Little Youth: If a macca, mek it jook yu!

My journalism awards:

Journalism Beast Award: Remember the Beast got his nickname by “liking off” my sister from afar but taking no step to make her his “beast” (1960s slang; you had to be there). This award is revived after a hiatus to reward regular Hot Line host ORVILLE TAYLOR for his seemingly perpetual “wanna-be” status as exemplified by apparent anxiety to be a country music legend. He keeps introducing himself: “they call me The Man in Black”. Who are “they” Orville? That group doesn’t include me.

There’s only one Man in Black namely country music/rock and roll/songwriter legend Johnny Cash. In a seminal 1971 hit (same name) he wrote/recorded:

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black

why you never see bright colours on my back

and why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone?

Well, there’s a reason for the things that I have on

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down

livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town.

I wear it for the prisoner who is long paid for his crime

but is there because he’s a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who’ve never read

or listened to the words that Jesus said

about the road to happiness through love and charity.

Why, you’d think He’s talking straight to youse and me

Please watch Johnny Cash’s full first performance of this song at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDd32K-mOVw. Orville was 11. Why do “they” call you The Man in Black, Orville? Do you always dress in black? If so why? Do you investigate UFO sightings? Who are you following? Fashion?

Serious awards:

Rising Star Journalist: Nationwide News Network (NNN) is a station too many love to hate but in TAUNA THOMAS and RICARDO BROOKS it has found a collective gem. They’ve raised the standard of morning radio during 2023 with a combination of intellect, skill and broadcast chemistry. NNN’s flagship morning show has never been in better hands.

Journalist of the Year: It’s not often I agree with Press Association of Jamaica (PAJ) but, Happy New Year PAJ, JOVAN JOHNSON your Journalist of the Year is also Domino Awards’ Journalist of the Year. Young Jovan has now won this Domino Award for two consecutive years (and PAJ’s Top Award two of the last three) for his in depth research and analysis of subjects producing the highest quality investigative journalism. For me, his reportage of the Cornerstone/Barita brouhaha was his best work. It earned him a lawsuit which, like all forms of brickbat thrown at investigative journalists, should be worn as a badge of honour.

GENE AUTRY AWARD FOR PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR

Chief Justice BRYAN SYKES has, as expected, been a transformational leader of the Judiciary. His unparalleled will to make the legal system more modern, accessible and efficient has already born fruit. His presiding over the long and complicated One Don Trial was superb and should be the subject of lessons at the Law School in criminal procedure and judicial technique. As if all this wasn’t enough, he brings a new light of transparency and accountability to the Judiciary that screams 21st century public service. Judges like him prove we don’t need the Privy Council?

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com