Discipline is not a tool for control

THE EDITOR, Madam:

Often there is a conversation about discipline and what it should look like for children. At its core, the issue is one of definition.

Recently, two educators were lamenting what they called the “blatant disregard for rules” in the education system. Their conclusion? “These children don’t want to be controlled anymore.” That statement made me realise how much our approach to discipline is still rooted in practices inherited from slavery.

The goal of any disciplinary strategy cannot be to “control” children. Instead, it should facilitate self-control and responsible behaviour. Discipline should be proactive, focused on building good habits and nurturing social responsibility. Much of the confusion and tension around discipline could be resolved if we simply reframed how we understand it.

What we often label as “problem behaviours” are really just underdeveloped skills that require guidance. One of the main concerns with the “rules are rules” mentality is that we now have children who are asking important questions: Why do these rules exist? What’s the reasoning behind them?

Too many adults take offence at these questions, believing that their authority should not be questioned. But, how can we say we want children to be critical thinkers, yet, get upset when they think critically? We can’t eat our cake and still have it. Asking about the rationale and functionality of a rule is not the same as challenging authority; it’s a sign of growing intelligence and agency.

In my undergraduate days, my ethics lecturer shared a principle that stuck with me: an environment of discipline is easy to maintain when people understand the principle behind the precept, and when they trust that the person enforcing it has a relationship with those under their care.

This is not an argument for noncompliance. Discipline is essential for social order. But, if we want to be effective in creating an environment of discipline for our children, we must reframe the conversation. The goal must never be controlled. Otherwise, we risk replicating the very systems of oppression we claim to have moved beyond.

If discipline is just a tool for control, we’ve learned nothing from our past!

JAEMAR JOHNSON

Behaviour Analyst