An open letter to my father
Published:Sunday | June 20, 2010 | 12:00 AM
Dear Daddy:
I don't know if you read the papers. If not, I hope someone who knows you does and will make you aware of this letter.
I am 25 years old and have been asking a lot of questions about you lately. My mother has always told me that since my birth, she hasn't seen or heard from you. But my grandmother told me she has not seen you since I was about two years old.
I'm missing an intimate male role model in my life and I can only look to my uncles, male cousins and other males around for guidance. I'm jealous of my friends who boast about what "Daddy" did for them, and admire the close relationship they share with their fathers.
Mommy often curses and gets angry at me and tells me that I'm "going to be worthless just like my father", and it hurts. My grand-mother usually smiles at me and says I resemble my father. She says I talk and walk just like you, but I'd like to know you so that I can find out for myself.
I really miss you, Daddy, and I wish I knew what you looked like, or where in this world you are so I could visit you sometimes.
My mother told me you had other children. She regularly complained of not getting anything from you because of your other babymothers who kept pressuring you every weekend. However, my grandmother told me that you would buy my baby feed every weekend, but Mommy was too greedy. She said Mommy always cursed you and asked if "a dat alone you carry come?"
Grandma said you would get upset but you never hit Mommy, you would only "screw up" your face and say "Cho man!" She said all you wanted was to hold your newborn son in your arms, but my mother refused to give me to you.
Grandma said the last time she laid her eyes on you, you came home with three Cheese Trix in your hand and about $1,500. You told Mommy that your boss had fired you last week and you "nuh pick up nothing yet".
Grandma said the only thing she heard was Mommy's loud mouth, then something broke. You hastily walked out the house and I started crying. She remembers sitting under the sweetsop tree at the side of the house and watching you stepping like a mad man. And since that day, she hasn't seen you again.
But Mommy's story is that you used to beat her every time you came to the house. She said she asked you to spend more time with me and her, but you always said you had to go on the road to check Tom, Dick and Harry. She said she always felt lonely, ever since I was born, and felt as if she had to stand all the responsibility for me.
Too busy?
Mommy said it seemed as if you never wanted me in your life so gave you an ultimatum - either you stay with her and the baby, or stay out on the road. She said you got very angry, started cursing a lot of bad words, then slapped her across the face. She said Grandma had made some mint tea for her earlier and she had drunk it and left the cup on the dresser. She took it and flung it at your back and it fell and broke. You looked at her, shook your head and turned and hurried out of the house, and that was the last she ever saw of you.
Mommy always gets upset whenever I mention the words 'father' or 'daddy' in her hearing, and she doesn't even wish for me to know your name.
Do you know who my father is? Could you please tap him on the shoulder and tell him that his son, who he left behind, needs him very badly in his life. Many youth today are lacking that special fatherly love in their lives, and so this letter is a message to all fathers on our behalf.
Leon Pryce
876-890-2721
Montego Bay
St James