Parenting the teenage boy

The Editor, Sir:

When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart talk with your child? About sex? As uncomfortable as it may be for you, the spotlight is thrown your way as adolescent males have identified you as the person from whom they want the facts. But have you got the answers?

Parents or guardians like you were cited by approximately 33 per cent (32.9 to be exact) of adolescent males ages 15-17, as their most preferred source of information on family-life education. Let's face it - your adolescents want honest answers from a person or persons who they trust - you. Avoidance of the bevy of issues related to reproduction will not make them 'disappear'. It will only serve to drive the enquiring mind to other sources which may be less than accurate.

So brace yourself for the straight- up inquisitions about physiological changes in the opposite sex, intercourse, pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. An approach is to try to assess just how much they already know and, from that launch pad, perhaps the talk won't seem as ominous or foreboding. Providing your young adolescent males with correct information does not spur them to become sexually active. More than anything else, it outlines clearly the consequences of poor decision making, including experimentation. The reality check that discussions such as these can have affords our young males the opportunity to assess their life chances and delay sexual debut. The earlier the talk is had, the less likely your teen will falter.

In Jamaica, preliminary data point to almost one-half of males under 14 not using a contraceptive when they first had sex (48 per cent). The mean age at first intercourse among males is 14.5 years - in actuality, younger than girls who initiate sex at 16.1 years. Among men aged 15-24 years, 34.7 per cent reported being under age 15 at first intercourse, or engaging in intercourse with their girlfriend (62 per cent).

Talk before dating

As their guardians, certainly have that heart-to-heart talk before they begin dating at 15-16 years. Survey data show that 32.2 per cent of 15-17-year-olds dated for one to five months before their first sexual experience.

Approximately 52.4 and 56 per cent of our young adolescent men 15-17 years have received information about condoms and pregnancy, respectively, from parents or stepparents. What is more, they were quite comfortable discussing condoms and how pregnancy occurs with the parent or stepparent (70.6 and 63.1 per cent).

You have a responsibility to that young man who believes that you have all the answers he requires. More often than not, they also do not have comprehensive enough information on HIV, despite being surrounded by several sources. Don't wait on the school to formalise the information for him, as 13.4 per cent of 15-17-year-old males do not receive a course of study in health and family life education, and 76.1 per cent are exposed to the material in school only - not hearing it from their most trusted source - you.

The confidence that comes with being an authority on a particular subject matter acts as a magnet for those seeking enlightenment. Be the change in your child's life; be his confidante.

I am, etc.,

D. THOMAS

Kingston 5