The power of words

Glenford Smith, career writer

It is said in the Bible that life and death are in the power of the tongue. This idea can be taken literally. For instance, we've all heard stories of persons who have been stabbed or shot to death because they 'dissed' someone else - their angry utterances were interpreted as being disrespectful.

More generally, however, I think what this saying means is that what we say and how we say it has great potential to either help us or harm us in life.

Heeding the wisdom of this important principle is a crucial key to your career success or failure. You need only look back at some of the fallouts from the December 29 general elections to see evidence of this.

True or not, Delano Franklyn, campaign spokesman for the People's National Party, in a recent Sunday Gleaner article 'Why PNP won' captured a perception shared by many that several of the Jamaica Labour Party spokespersons came across as being 'arrogant'.

This raises an important key to effective communication: It's not just about what you say or your intended meaning. More important is how your words come across and are interpreted by others.

It is imperative that you take great care to avoid being misunderstood by those you have to work with. Here are two dangerous mistakes to avoid:

1. Arguing when you're angry

Some managers and bosses say whatever comes to their lips when they are disappointed, irritated or otherwise upset with their workers. They call them names, threaten them, and sometimes berate them in front of colleagues.

This engenders resentment. It damages relationships. It kills team spirit.

Here's a secret: When you're feeling the emotion of anger, you're likely to say hurtful things you may later regret. If you're unable to discipline yourself, it is best not to argue or correct an employee until you've calmed down.

Employees, too, are often guilty of saying abusive words to their superiors when angry. They often justify their outbursts by saying they don't take crap from anyone, the boss deserved it, or simply that they won't let anyone 'walk over' them.

If you value your career, however, summon the self-control to 'hold your tongue'. This doesn't mean you acquiesce to injustice or abuse. Rather, it means you wait until your anger has subsided. This way, you reduce the risk of saying something that will only worsen the situation and harm your career.

2. Listen before you talk

We all want others to understand our side of any conflict, right? Many people erroneously believe the way to achieve this is talk the loudest and the longest. Yet, this often only causes the other person to defend themselves.

Why not adopt the fifth of Dr Stephen Covey's seven habits of highly effective people, instead: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

When you allow your boss, your worker or co-worker to talk first, it empo-wers them. They then will be moti-vated to listen and under-stand your point of view.

It is this mutual understanding which forms the foundation for resolving any conflict.

Glenford Smith is a motivational speaker and success strategist. He is the author of a new book 'From Problems to Power: How to Win Over Worry and Turn Your Obstacles into Opportunities'. Send feedback to glenfordsmith@yahoo.com