Does grief really kill?

Dr Douglas Street, Contributor

Many of us have heard the suggestion that when one spouse dies, the other one often follows shortly afterwards. It is thought that this is especially true of the men who are left behind. But can grief really kill?

People who have been married a long time usually build really strong bonds between them. Through marriage, people form a team which allows them to do more together than they could do alone. The physical and emotional support can actually enhance the health of both. Studies have shown, though, that this positive effect is more pronounced for the male than the female. So what happens when death makes them part?

The idea that the death of one spouse often leads to the death of the other has actually been proven. A recent study shows that there is actually a 66 per cent increased chance of the surviving spouse dying in the first three months. It is called the 'widow effect'. Some studies show men are more at risk, but others don't. Based on the fact that men enjoy more health benefits from being married, it's probably true.

One thing that is lacking from the studies is why this happens. There isn't much consensus on this matter. There is no doubt that as we get older, our reserves get thinner, and we become less likely to withstand illness.

Positive feelings have positive effects on your health, so negative emotions will undoubtedly have the opposite effect. Beneficial hormones are produced when we are happy. Interestingly, though, it's not only older couples who demonstrate this phenomenon.

If the surviving spouse has a chronic illness, then more than likely he or she will be on medications and special diets and have doctors' appointments. Without a spouse around to organise these things, the health of the surviving spouse may deteriorate. There may also be lack of motivation to get these things done due to grief.

Loss of a spouse may also lead to risky or careless behaviours in the surviving spouse, so he or she might be more likely to get involved in accidents and other harmful behaviours such as drinking and smoking. Some may even become suicidal. These factors may account for the effect in younger couples.

Social groups, such as church groups, may reduce the widow effect. Loved ones should pay special attention to the one left behind.

Dr Douglas Street is a general practitioner and has private practices at Trinity Medical Centre, Trinity Mall at 3 Barnett Street in Montego Bay, and Omega Medical Centre, Plaza de Negril, Negril. Send feedback to drdougstreet@yahoo.com.